This summer and fall I have definitely had to put on the "Oxygen Mask of Self-Care" and keep it on for some time. What am I talking about? You know when you get on an airplane and they tell you that in the event of a loss of air pressure, oxygen masks will fall from the ceiling. "Please place a mask on yourself before assisting other passengers." Why is this? This seems rather selfish and self-serving, right? Not a very Christian attitude...taking care of yourself first? Well, as author Geri Scazzero says, "She who is dead, can not be much help to others."
With the introduction of each child into our family, the amount of time I have spent taking care of myself has dimenished exponentially. What has that looked like on a practical basis? Dr. visits?...OB's and pediatricians count, right? Exercise?...I carry lots of kids and laundry and groceries...check. Counseling....definitely no time for that-- I may have issues that need to be dealt with, but that's going to have to be on the back burner. Shower...very optional...certainly not a daily priority. Brushing teeth...pretty high on the priority list, but still might not get done every day-- especially if the house shoes never come off my feet. You get the picture--- self-care has NOT been a high priority for me for the past 9ish years. Any other mommas of littles sympathize?
So, where has that left me? Sick and tired!! In body, mind, soul and spirit. But the time in Guatemala made that sickness very apparent and the Spring, Summer and Fall have really been spent getting me well. What changes have we made?
Well, I read a great book, Emotionally Healthy Woman (Geri Scazzero) and that was awesome--I highly recommend it. I started exercising once a week- no kids, yoga, worshipful, peaceful, friends with me, Oh yeah--it's a little piece of heaven! Adjusting medications. Counseling. Working to find a balance between home, kids activities, time for my marriage, and time for myself.
And the big one-- I have sought out doctors to figure out why I was so exhausted ALL THE TIME and why I was having abdominal pain. I thought I had struggled with acid reflux disease for years. I told Mark in Guatemala that I really needed to have a scope once we were home and had good insurance again to look at my esophagus and see what was going on in my belly. It was recommended years ago, but who has time for anesthesia? Not on my agenda---but the pain was growing worse and much more frequent and leaving me with sleepless nights (not an option). So, I finally got around to that bit of taking care of myself in September. What did they find?...nothing!! Next thing I know I'm having an abdominal ultrasound only to discover I have 3 large gallstones (all about 1 inch in diameter). Surgery...here I come! On October 14th, I found myself having my gallbladder removed. Five weeks later, I'm still tired and I have to be careful what I lift, but feeling much better and very thankful for modern medicine.
Hopefully the next months and years won't involve quite such intense caring for myself, but I think a lesson I have learned, and hope to teach my children, is that taking care of yourself is a good thing. They have not seen that modeled very well so far in their lives....but I hope they will learn that lesson now. Especially my girls: being a good momma doesn't mean you're super woman and you can do it all, non-stop, and not take care of yourself---caring for myself will make me a better momma!
